I’ve read a couple of books on this subject, they have been quite inspiring, but I don’t feel like they always apply to my context or maybe the language used in those books is just not comprehensible enough for me. Here are some ways I found through experience on how to attract people, which works most of the time. I’m not really a specialist in social interactions or human behavior, but I don’t think it takes a genius to know how to approach other persons, I’ve met quite interesting people throughout my lifetime who just had so much ease talking and reaching out to others, they didn’t need any training, it just came to them naturally.
I’m sure you as well may have already met a few people like these, either at your work place, in the streets or even in a video you watched. Those people didn’t go to any school neither did they have to read a book to tell them how to approach others, it simply comes naturally to them. What you should do is try to emulate their example, copy what they do, and you will be able to accomplish what they did. You don’t need a book to tell you how to speak to people or how to approach people.
Most people are insecure
You have to understand that most people are insecure, whether it’s about their beauty or it’s about their intelligence, there is always something a person feels uncomfortable with, and they are all in search of reassurance about this. The way in which you can be able to approach anybody is by providing this reassurance to them; you could say to a woman “you are very beautiful” and she would be drawn to you because you’ve given her that reassurance which she didn’t have, you can also tell a man “wow, you are strong” and he would be drawn to you because up until then, he was insecure about that. So the way you can approach basically anybody, is by providing them reassurance about something they feel insecure about, that’s why it is difficult to approach celebrities, they have already received the reassurance from countless people already and being able to stand to be judged by the world has gotten rid of any insecurities they might have. It’s easy to approach wealthy people because the money basically serve as a covering for any insecurities, they hide behind it, but if you are able to give them a reassurance which isn’t bound to their money then they will be attracted to you.
When I say attracted, I don’t mean this in a sexual way, I’m thinking more about bonding and friendship. Providing reassurance to a person doesn’t mean they are going to fall in love with you, but they will be more inclined to be a friend. That’s why people who talk a lot in public are often looked at as very friendly, 90% of the population dread public speaking, some persons might be traumatized just knowing that they have to speak in public, that’s why when you see a person speaking in public it gives you that reassurance you need, and you feel attracted to that person instantly.
This is the biggest asset in order to attract people to you, like I said earlier, most people are insecure about one thing or the other, so when they see a person oozing with self-confidence, they can’t help but feel compelled to come closer to that person in order to get some of that confidence. I’ve seen unqualified persons get jobs just because they had self-confidence, there are literally men out there who pride themselves to be capable of getting any girl just with their self-confidence. It’s like a magnet, those without are automatically attracted to those with a lot of self-confidence, when you know what you are doing, there is no doubt that people who aren’t sure of what they are doing will gravitate around you in hopes that you may inspire them.
You just have to be careful about self-confidence not to come off as being arrogant and proud because if you are too self-confident, people might instead look at you as being proud, and they would feel repelled from you instead.
Self Confident need praises
Approaching people who are self-confident can be a difficult thing to do because they aren’t looking for any reassurance, they already know what they are capable of, what they want, how to get what they want, and they don’t need anybody else to tell them what they should do. One thing they never have enough of are praises, people to acknowledge their talent, so the way of approaching them is through praises, you can acknowledge their superiority and lavish them with praises, they will like that and feel attracted to you because they always want to keep around people who like what they are doing. Don’t try to tell them what to do because that will just go to do the reverse of what you want to accomplish, it will rather make them question themselves and feel insecure, that’s not how they want to feel.
These are people who just don’t like talking, most of whom actually enjoy seeing others talking. Approaching introverts is not done by getting them to talk but rather talking for them, they’ll feel the relief of not having to say anything and would rather be grateful to find someone who makes it easier for them to stay quiet. For example an introvert won’t like to raise his voice when something bothers him, maybe he didn’t receive what he ordered or somebody is blocking his way, so by being this mouth piece in his place, you become a friend and a person to be with but if you rather try to force him into speaking and replying to every conversation, then you take him out of his element and make him feel very uncomfortable.
There is no general rule but one trick you can use is by being observant, before you approach a person whom you’ve never met, take time to observe him from a distance and try to find things which you have in common or things which can bring up a conversation, once you are able to hit on a topic the person is passionate about, you can get him talking without you saying anything from there. I would recommend you do so in a manipulative way but depending on your reasons, you should show a genuine interest into others to ensure you build a long term relationship with them rather than trying to take advantage of them for a brief moment.
Thanks for reading ☺️