Article Link: https://moretothat.com/is-there-more-to-life-than-this/
On a day-to-day basis, the stresses of life can feel all-consuming. There are bills to pay, mouths to feed, work to do, people to please, places to go, and worries to fill in the space between it all. And this can make you wonder:
“Is there more to life than this?”
It's a valid question, especially because the modern world contains no shortage of stories that idealize a life of glamour and excess. This isn't just the case for celebrities and the filthy rich. I've seen cases of old friends acquaintances posting drone photos of themselves partying on yachts while drinking champagne amidst the setting sun. Others have recorded videos flaunting their status as millionaires as they travel around the world (in slow motion).
Now, I'm sure they have their reasons for doing things like this, but I've come to realize that one reason is to say some variant of the following:
“Hey, look at my life. Where are you at with yours?”
This may sound cynical, but it's the truth. Embedded in every open display of wealth and status is an assumption that someone in a “lower” position will be viewing it. Think about it. If you just became a millionaire but knew that your entire audience were billionaires, would you make a post that exudes the level of your wealth? Of course not. The only reason you would is because you know that most people aren't billionaires and just might desire what you've obtained.
When you find yourself wondering if there's “more to life,” that's because your expectations of what life should be has been set by other hands. Chances are, you've recently spent some time on social media. You've been thinking of how you feel so behind compared to other people. You've been wondering how your life has gone a certain direction when it could be so much more.
So to break this spell, I'd like to propose a thought experiment.
Imagine that you spent a whole day only focusing on the contents of your own life. You focus on your own work, you spend time with your own mind (by meditating or journaling), you share a meal with good friends (real ones, not acquaintances), and watch a film you've always wanted to watch. There's no one to compare yourself against, no goal that someone else says you should be hitting, none of that. How do you think that day would feel? Pretty good, right? I'd dare to say that you'd feel quite peaceful by the end of it.
The truth is that it's actually easy to be content. The problem is that there are so many forces that try to convince us not to be. After all, the wheel of discontentment is what keeps us buying things we don't need, pleasing people we don't care for, and paying attention to those that never think about us. But if we silence all that noise and direct our attention inward, then there is just your life and the things that matter most. It really is that simple.
But of course, life is nuanced and if you've chosen to live in a secular world like I have, then you'll have to make some tradeoffs. You and I aren't monks, which means that we have money to make, colleagues to interact with, and obligations to fulfill. With that said, you can still take the principles of the contemplative life and imbue them into your practical life to regularly produce a state of contentment.
For example, I'm a writer, and in today's era, that means I'm also an entrepreneur. Aside from writing, I also teach storytelling, have a consulting practice, create products, interact with readers, and so much more. This requires me to have a readership, which means that I use social media to get the word out about what I'm doing.
But whenever I use social media, I keep in mind that it's essentially a gigantic feed of, “Hey, look at my life. Where are you at with yours?” Sure, I may come across some helpful information in my feed, but it's rare that I'll walk away feeling good about myself after spending a prolonged period of time there.
Knowing this, I came up with the following solution: Use a third party service that schedules all my posts beforehand, then spend a maximum of 10 minutes each day checking out feedback, sending DMs, and replying to any comments. I may take a quick scroll through my feed to see if anything truly important has happened, but that's about it. I have no social media apps on my phone and can't even use my browser to access those sites. Everything is blocked, and my well-being has never been higher.
The result is that my social media following has grown substantially over the past year yet I'm rarely even on it. My focus goes toward creating things, yet I still leverage the power of the internet to distribute my work to people. The key is to use these platforms as means to your personal goals, instead of having you become a means to their corporate ones.
If you feel that your life could be so much more than what it is, then it's worth asking yourself these 2 questions:
(1) Do I feel this way because I'm aware of my own potential?
Or…
(2) Do I feel this way because other people are making me feel inadequate?
If it's #1, then that's an important signal to listen to. If you know deep within that you could do so much more with your resilience and capabilities, then you need to pursue another path. After all, that's what made me take a leap from my corporate career to my creative one. I knew that my mind was capable of more than building spreadsheets all day, and that I would put in the requisite effort to produce great art.
But if it's #2, then be wary of the desire for more. Chances are, you read or watched something about someone's life looking “better” than yours, and that inadequacy is driving your belief that life could be so much more. This is a trap, as any pursuit that doesn't stem for your own volition is a borrowed desire. Even if you end up getting what you want, it'll feel empty because you didn't even want it yourself. You let a low sense of self-worth drive you, and no amount of external achievement will be able to make that up for you.
People will do everything in their power to make you believe that their life looks better than it actually is. The beautiful irony, however, is that your life is actually much better than what you're led on to believe. The trick is to stop letting others convince you otherwise.
