If you have a problem. And it’s like a really bad reoccurring horrific problem, and you tell me that there’s just absolutely no way to fix it. I would be skeptical, but I might be convinced to believe you. If however, you are standing in a room full of dozens maybe even hundreds of other people who have all addressed or maybe even solved this very same problem to varying degrees of success using a variety of different methods some not so great but even the most lackluster amongst them being worlds better than what you’ve got going on, and it becomes just abundantly clear that you are the only one with this problem, I’m going to be a lot less likely to believe you. When you say that there is no solution and especially if you dismiss every single proposed solution to the problem without trying it first, if you tell me that right after the problem occurred is a bad time to talk about the problem or if you can’t have an intelligent conversation about the problem without just making noises or unfounded assumptions, I’m going to be a lot less convinced that you have a problem and a lot more convinced that you are the problem.
The society we live in has evolved in many ways but a lot of things have stayed the same some of which include communication and education, so if you have a brain in your head and you are able to read, write and reason then there is no reason for you to be going through the same difficulties which your peers have already resolved. Very often, simply because of our ego or some aggressive shyness, we end up having to deal with so many problems which could be easily solved if we just asked another person for the solution. Take a moment to reflect on the difficulties you might be going through right now, are you the only person you know going through those same difficulties? if the answer is no, then you are the problem.
You are holding yourself back
You are the only one preventing yourself from finding the solution to your problem, the solution is out there, but you deliberately choose not to go and find it, instead you feel like you are too smart, and you’ll figure it out yourself, that you don’t need the help of anybody, or maybe you are just too shy to admit to any weakness in front of anybody else. It’s also possible that you don’t know where to find the solution.
This quote speaks volume because of how true it is, when you think about it, you are the greatest enemy you’ll ever have. Others can only influence you to a certain degree but you have the most impact on yourself than any other being. You decide whether you want to work hard or not, whether you want to seek help or not, which kind of person you want to be and which kind of lifestyle you want to have.
All those decisions are on you and nobody else, so in essence, you are either your best friend or your worst enemy.
Surrounded by success and yet we still fail
Back in school I quickly realized that those who sat at the front of the class were those who succeeded the most in school and those who sat at the back of the class failed most often but were always the most fun people to have around, so in a bid to socialize more, I sat at the back of the class. Thats when I saw my grades declining and my overall results become a failure, I quickly transitioned back to the front of the class and the results followed. It wasn’t just enough for me to sit at the front, I also had to socialize with those who were there in order to learn more and by doing just that, my results were outstanding. What happened in this case was that, not only was I surrounded by intelligent people, but I also took it a step further to ask them questions and learn from them directly.
In the same way in society today, we are surrounded by very successful people, most often they are more than eager to share their knowledge with us, (unfortunately what interest us most is just the money we can get from them) but we deliberately choose to spend most of our time with people we consider to be a lot of fun even though they only bring negative things and some distraction to our lives. I can’t tell what is holding you back but one thing I know is that, you can find the solution to that by talking and learning from the experiences us others, faster than you can figure it out by yourself. Its also a question of the kind of persons you surround yourself with, do you prefer those students at the back of the class who didn’t care about their grades but were more concerned with having fun in the classroom, or are you more concerned about learning and understanding all what the teacher says.
Become the solution
It’s possible that you don’t know what to do exactly, so I’m going to tell you. What you need to do is read and read a lot, read as much as you can in order to learn from the experiences of others, that’s what we did in school and that’s what we need to do in real life in order to make our current lives better. What you spent your childhood and adolescence studying are the same things you use today, so you need even more of an education in order to make your future a brighter one. You can learn from books or learn from people who have already accomplished somewhat of success in their lives, in the same way you are not going to be reading a book about a failed professional, that’s the same way you have to surround yourself with people whom you aspire to become. When people aren’t adding anything to your life, then you can safely assume that they are taking something way, be it your time, money or intellectual abilities and the worst part of this is that you are letting them. Become the solution to your problem.